My parents are seventy years  and sixty four years old respectively.

Dad is a retired teacher and mother has been a home maker who has held our family together while dad was busy trying to provide a roof over our head.

There wasn’t a decision in my life that I have not consulted with my father or mother. 

When I went out shopping I always discussed with my mother about the kind of dresses or accessories that I wanted to buy. (I may not have always listened to her suggestions but I always discussed things with her)

 Dad was always there when I had to decide upon what subjects to specialise in during  high school, when I had to decide whether to get married to the person who was chosen by my parents. But, whatever decision I had to take they stood by me giving the message that we are here for you, no matter what.

As we all know, as we become old enough and start leading a life of our own,some of the  discussions that we had with our parents dwindle down. For some of us it completely stops, where us some of us still continue to have discussions with our parents.

As they grow older, their second childhood visits them and the responsibility of taking care of our parents falls on us. How many of us do a good job?

Sometimes we try to smother them with our love and care. Let us think about a few things before we proceed. We are taking about those individuals who have had their own careers, who have been making decisions for a long time in their lives. And to this individual who has been independent and the person who has been taking decisions all his/her life , we tell them through our love that we will take decisions for them. Why do we rob  the joy of making a choice from them. 

How many time have we decided for them without even consulting with them about where they are going to spend their summers or winters. How many times have we decided for them when they will go to your brother’s or sister’s place? How many times do we decide for them whether they can travel to another relatives house or not?

Our lives are filled with incidents like these, where out of love for our parents , when they are in their second childhood we make decisions for them thinking about their well being and  forgetting that they have been making their own decisions in life.

Agreed some of them may not be in a fit condition to make the right decision but why rob them of the opportunity to think about all the possibilities that are available to them?

Let us love them and not smother them. While they are still capable of making their own choices let us step back and let them make that choice. Nothing gives them more pleasure than listening to their children sharing their ideas with them and giving importance to their suggestions.

Kavini

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