Drowning in silence
neither desired nor golden
burden I carry
Drowning in silence
neither desired nor golden
burden I carry
Its 4.45 ,the alarm rings you cant even bang it on the head any more as the traditional alarms have given way to sleek mobiles. You do the next best thing; you snooze it to go to the land Morpheus, alas the mobile chimes again. Dredge up from the bottom of your soul the energy to get up……and start the day on wheels….different utensils and cookers on all the four stoves….gulp down something on the go……breakfast on the table by 6.45….lunch boxes packed by 6.55 for all the four of us…rush into the wash room for a quick bath…..step out by 7.oo in time to wave bye to hubby…grab a quick bite…..comb daughters hair….drag the kicking and screaming son to oil and comb his unruly hair…flick the comb through my locks once……gather the bags and the children by 7.15 and off to school. (phew…….)
well it does not end there, while the kids make their way to their respective classes I too make my way to my class( I am a Montessori directress). Take a breath out side to calm myself before stepping into face 34 boisterous six to nine years old and the next round of craziness starts…….you look up at the time…its 3.30 …..time to go home. Gather the children ,board the car…..come home quickly set the house right…… take a quick 30 minutes break….start dinner…..do the work out…..help children in their studies….dinner…clean kitchen….read for them……. and finally fall down in the bed after 10.30 exhausted. Morpheus is ready to take you into his world and the next instant the alarm whines.
What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
William Henry Davies
I visited Fruitsnbeans, a mountain resort a couple of weeks back.
“What a joy it is to feel the soft, springy earth under my feet once more,
to follow grassy roads that lead to ferny brooks
where I can bathe my fingers in a cataract of rippling notes,
or to clamber over a stone wall into green fields that
tumble and roll and climb in riotous gladness! “
An inviting cozy place in the Palani hills. It is situated inside the coffee estate where the owners have converted their homestead into the comfort zone for weary souls. Its helmed by a delightful host and the staff’s motto is, to please you. I have travelled to many places and in all the places that I have stayed, the guests are always treated well. What makes it different here is that the personal touch, its like staying in your grandma’s place. The feeling of belonging but at the same time its a place to chill. Right from the host to the last member of the staff, we were looked after like the apple of their eyes.
Though the stream that runs through had dried leaving behind puddles, it was a little haven of nature. You can go for walks around the estate observing the workers carrying on with their day of plucking peeper corn from the trees or pruning the trees. I was lucky as our delightful host took us around for a walk around the estate sharing with us stories about how the idea for a resort blossomed. There was a story about every tree that he had grown.
Oh forgot to tell you, if you are an avid bird watcher then this is the place to go. Being an avid bird watcher , our host could point out the local birds that were chirping around(For the life of me I couldn’t see anything the first time he pointed. By the time I figured out where he was pointing out they flew away…. After a few trials and errors I did manage to spot of few with the help of my hubby ,who in turn is a birder himself!!!!) I can list out a few names though I might not able to identify them again…the trogon which they said was a bird you see once in a blue moon. There were other varieties too, the thrush, blue fairy bird, wagtails, hoopoes, raptors, nut thatch, leaf birds and many more. You can sit near the stream and watch them take bath in the glorious water. There are wild bison too and my hubby had a close encounter with one at 2 in the morning outside our window, he scarred the living day lights off it when he took the camera to take a picture.
It does not stop there , our friendly host made it a point to take us around his pick up truck to a couple of places to watch out for birds. I do not know about the birds but it was so dense that it felt like I was taking a walk in the tropical forest while an orchestra of cicadas performed all around.
It’s a place of tranquility away from the rush. Its a place to get up early not because you have a schedule to keep up but to enjoy the mist and the cold air by taking a walk. Its a place to walk not with a purpose but to enjoy nature and one another’s company having meaningful conversations. Its a place to sit outside curled up with book not to be completely engrossed in it, but to look up now and then to drink in nature. Its a place to rewind with your companion not only to enjoy silence but to share laughter. Its a place for birders, for walkers, for nature lovers, for lovers. Its romance not in the traditional sense of roses and candle light dinners but walking, sharing and smiling.
Its a place that can revive you.
Well as I said earlier I am a movie buff….and I fell in love with the movie Bahubali….Well as they say Love is blind even though I know that there are loop holes in the movie and its a proper commercial film I love it. Instead of Prabhas imagine MGR( Yester year Hero), and Instead of Rana imagine M.N.Nambiar(The best villain of Tamil movie Industry)…Voila! you have the traditional story of a son taking revenge for his father’s untimely death, but, I love Bahubali…..
My better half cannot understand the fascination I have for this movie…nor many of my good friends(they give me a weird look). Once a very good friend of mine asked me, “What is that you like to read?”, and I replied, “Adventure, thrill, Romance, fantasy……” and his irritated reply was, “Grow up!!!!!!!!!! 🙂 Though I read a variety of genres today, I still like the above mentioned rasas in my books and movies. I cry at movies when its a tragedy or to put in a nut shell I enjoy a well made movie that makes me enjoy the romance, fight or comedy.
Let me list a few my all time favorite movies……. I call them as my favorite because, some of the movies,even after so many years haunt me.
That does not mean I am blind to the loop holes in the movies, I am well aware of it however choose to over look it. I do not go to the cinemas to find logic, we have enough of it in our lives.
Here it goes …the loop holes that I saw in the movie
I am sure there are many more missing links like this like any other movie. In spite of these odds I love this movie.
Whenever I go gaga over this movie my daughter rolls her eyes at me…..(as I am sure some of you would too!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂 )
While I need you to partner me
you want nothing but to dominate
While I seek pleasure in pain
You believe pain is pleasure
While I yearn to walk with you
you want to walk ahead
While I believe in togetherness
you believe in being on your own
while I believe in everything
you believe in nothing….
This is my saga to reduce my weight.
I can see the gears turning in many minds……not another weight loss tamasha….not another self proclaimed weight loss guru…
Sorry to disappoint you buddies. Nothing like that is going to be narrated here. It’s my weight loss saga and the reaction of people around me to it.
A year back almost for a whole week I was feeling dizzy and felt like throwing up anything and everything. Nah.. I was not pregnant(no possibilities of it at all) so there..
After going through a battery of test I was diagnosed with a disc bulge(I seriously don’t know how I manage to land in such trouble) and during the course of the treatment my physio said the magic word, “Boss you need to shell out at least 10 kilos”, and suggested that I started to walk for an hour 😦
I had always lamented about my weight for years. I shot up from a demure 53 during marriage to 70 + after my daughter was born. After the delivery of my son it was around 69….
Well I was reducing weight in a slower pace .At that time I met a cousin, who is also a very good friend of mine, after a couple of months and was amazed at her transformation. She was looking drop dead gorgeous, she would have easily reduced more than 15 kilos. Man, saying that I was impressed was an understatement. Armed with her dietician’s number I began to hound my better half. Did he give in to just stop my nagging 🙂 could be.
Well after the required blood tests she put me on a diet, but to tell you the truth I have never eaten like how I ate during those two months while I was dieting. I started at 6 in the morning and kept eating every two hours till 9 in the night. On top of it I did one hour of walking and 45 mts of yoga. Phew!!!!!!!!!!!
Now we come to the crux of the story……the reaction of people around
Well in spite of the irritators, know it all ,the green eyed monsters I have with the help of motivators and genuinely concerned reduced weight. I have lost 10 kilos. The biggest motivator being ME. I wanted to feel and look good. As a side effect I have built my stamina , thanks to the Yoga.
It was not to achieve a svelte figure( my hubby is not going to sweep me into his arms like the Indian heroes), it was an effort to stay healthy so that I can be independent for a very long time. Though it does feel gooooooooooood when I wear a Kurti or Jeans that showcases a toned body.
This is a salute for everyone out there who are struggling to reduce their weight and to my cousin who was my inspiration.
This is my weight loss saga and people who have a problem with that, “Go take a hike.”
No more, she broke the chains of duty
That bound her struggling her spirit
No more, the chains of expectation
that lashed her fluttering spirit
No more, the compromises in name of love
that robbed her identify
No more, aiming at perfection for imperfect souls
Hands straining, head thrown back
with a heave
she laid down the burden of demands
No more, she stood regally
bound me with love but not duty…..
The pain ripped her apart
soul shredded to pieces
fragments too minute to put together
flickering hope snuffed
yet another search futile
pain radiating through every pore
anguish trickled tears
gathering her tattered soul
she yet again rose up
defying life as it yet again
tried to vanquish her
I see my mother when my thirteen year old darling girl without being prompted carries the heavier bag, leaving the smaller one for me when she knows I had a tough day at work. I glimpse my mother when she sings my favorite Krishna hymn when she senses that I am deeply troubled or disturbed. She becomes my mother when she teaches me the new technology or how to swim without becoming angry but with humor. We are friends when we drool over boys together but again she becomes the stern mother when she feels my taste in men is hopeless(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!How did I marry your father sweet heart;) ) The best part is when she comes to me saying , “mamma hug”, I realize however grown up she might become, she is still the sweet little midget I carried in my womb.
I like going to the cinema
stares my family at me-an enigma
I love the out of life heroes
who leave my heart in a throe
sometimes wonder about the female lead
more of a decorative piece instead
feed me with vendetta
the protagonist pouncing like a cheetah
feed me with romance
that floors you with a glance
feed me with tragedy
I will wallow in misery
feed me with comedy
I will forget my anxiety
the smell of melted butter on popcorn
I wait for the next movie forlorn
I am great fan
of movies in my short life span…..